Monday, November 28, 2011 // 2:54 AM
It's been awhile since i've been on this blog. Mostly since i have tumblr and twitter and other accounts now.
But it doesn't beat the privacy i can get here now, since no one, and i mean NO ONE would read this blog anywhere.
It's like a diary available for people to read, but you just can't find.
First thing:
I can't stand when people openly flame others. This fucked up public discrimination is the sort of thing that no one should have to endure. It's not as if they did anything to you directly right? What or who gives you the bloody right to say such things about people? Even if you DO feel like you truly hate the other party, you could insult them privately or something right? Not do it in places where the person can see it. Unless you WANT the person to see it, then you're a plain sadist. You don't know how it feels to be flamed in public do you? That kind of public declaration of hatred towards you. The feeling that no one in the world wants to be your friend, wants to stick around for you, or even wants to be associated with you. Do you have any idea how much it hurts? To go into some familiar place, but feel like you don't know anything or anyone there? It's like going into a home, full of strangers you can't trust or talk to.
I also want to re-declare how lonely it gets when i have to remember you. When people remind me of you. When they keep saying how similar i am to you. I hate it. I hate to be reminded. I hate to remember everything. Why can't i forget? I know i say this again, and again. I hate repeating this. I hate replaying everything in my head.
Let me forget. Please.
Knock Knock.
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Friday, December 17, 2010 // 10:44 PM
When i had you, i wanted to hold you, and talk to you, and never let you go.
But after awhile, the spark that had transformed into that fire died down,
and now only smouldering ashes are left
You are awesome, and i miss talking to you and acting cute with you
and holding your hand and you.
You were the best to me.
You were sweet and funny and caring and loving,
and you still are.
But you are also fragile though you always try to be strong.
i hated hurting you,
but i didn't want to hurt you more.
''and this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying i'm sorry for that night''
Knock Knock.
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Monday, December 13, 2010 // 10:22 PM
oh wow!
i jus realized i havent blogged for...3-4 months?
personal record
hi blog
im gonna un-private you now
and not put a tagboard
anyway like ppl actually bother coming to read LOL.
Knock Knock.
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Sunday, August 22, 2010 // 5:25 PM
you know?
everytime you ignore my messages or give me a '?'
its like you don't want to talk to me at all
it hurts to know that you want to care
it ok
once i leave you won't see me again
you won't have to talk to me again
you won't have to put up with my crap
Knock Knock.
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Sunday, August 1, 2010 // 10:15 PM
so everything seems really easy now.
everyday goes by the same way
i look at your name on my contact list and force myself not to click it
i don't want to end up with a conversation that goes no where
again
and again
yea im being sensitive over stupid things
hooray for me
i wish you'd talk to me like yesterday
i'd miss talking to you..
so yea.
soon i'll be gone and you won't see me anymore
will you talk to me then?
or will we drift apart
and that reply you gave me was so quick
were you just tired?
you seemed like you were so eager to say goodbye
Knock Knock.
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Wednesday, July 21, 2010 // 11:56 PM
i feel like letting someone see everything
but who can i show it to
i dont want to have some sort of motive for letting people see
i dont want people to care only cos i want them to
im a bloody hypocrite
so im trying not to be
but its as though plotting how people perceive me is a part of me
i change when im around different people
i dont know if what im acting as is really who i am,
or simply that, acting
what am i?
Knock Knock.
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Monday, July 19, 2010 // 11:16 PM
im tired...
if you dont want to talk to me then its ok.
but dont act like you want to
Knock Knock.
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